Say It Without Saying It
My entire life has been a struggle with this mouth. I knew heading into parenthood that some serious controls needed to be automatic within my own behavior before I forced another human being to tolerate my existence on a 24/7 basis.
I’m not a monster, I know how absolutely grating on the nerves I can be as an individual. I also knew that parenting required a set of agreements which HAD to be made between multiple human beings in order for all of us to reach our final destinations in a state which we could ultimately enjoy the fruits of our labors…and hope that it results in our continued attachments being healthy and strongly bonded. The whole package. I have some phenomenally extravagant simple goals, folks.
As a purposeful habit I struggle with daily, I try to say things without saying them as much as possible. This eases the annoyance and impact of my constant gabbing and general existence upon those who may not enjoy a constant hum that is ‘me’.
Honestly it is confounding to me to this day why my husband prefers and enjoys my particular brand of being, but here we are loving the shit out of our mutual existences. It can be done. Or he is just REALLY good at keeping his disdain deeeeeeep down. You know who you are.
Every day I healthily obsess and nitpick over our business plans, setting up the dominoes in a functional order before I allow the plan to be cast like a well-mended net of human ability to help and love.
Today’s train of thought is balancing our message without being dicks about the requirement for such a simple concept to require existing at all.
Being angry that a need exists at all in a world where we are gaslit and served all the lips, that ‘everything we are doing is the best or most we can do’. The amount of BS flags on the play of life as we currently view it is…astounding.
Navigating the process of effectively creating a solution to ANY problem you thought others were at least attempting to address, only to find they’ve messed it up so bad you are generally open to having it all burn down given the initial plan were revisited? Infuriating.
Balance is really hard when it hurts to exist also, so internally I’m an angry ball of fur, and physically, everything hurts. Broken bodies do that to strong minds, it’s worse when you don’t ‘look’ broken. Facts.
We want to convey HOW to thank others for their service to others in a more applied fashion. Without pointing out that its very easy to do if you actually use your powers of observation and critical thought.
It is clear that humanity “prefers” a digital reward, but that level of input and result it is not nourishing to the self in a way that really effects change and fulfillment to one’s emotional state. (Here’s a fun wiki-hole: Look up the experiment where they fed monkeys from soft fluffy robots vs uncovered metal ones and the findings. I cannot be the only one who sees a clear pattern of behavior in similar primate species as of late, but what do I know? Enjoy your afternoon.)
But if you do look that shit up, you’ll find that the answer to why most of the pressing chaos surrounding us on a daily basis is a lack of fulfillment to our sense of safety and health.
This constant drumming of the human condition that some of us seem to vibe more functionally can be alleviated much more effectively by speaking less, thinking more, and taking purposeful actions in your own life, daily, to ensure you are aligning yourself with what you truly feel is kind and considerate.
It’s the personal accountability everyone struggles with because it requires you sit in your discomfort with the mess in order to start organizing anything in a way that will allow for an ease of the anxiety within yourself.
Just sayin’ it’s not a unique experience to feel terrified all the time, it IS unique to our era that most of us are making personal choices which do little or nothing to impact or alleviate the clear irritated state our species has going on as of late.
Imagine the potential for experiencing individual fulfillment and those effects of each human making purposeful choices to accept and purposefully improve their own path and environment rather than being screeched at to fix ALL the problems all the time?
People may even start doing what is needed rather what is wanted for reasons which do not improve our overall development as a species.
I’d settle for our family’s plan being successful enough for me to take a nice deep breath one day because I will know others are also able to do the same in a genuinely fulfilling way. At least once I want to take that deep of a breath in my life. Again…preposterous goals I set for myself…muhuhuhuhua.
I think our plan will do that for a lot of people initially. At least I hope that it will. And what an odd emotion to have on such a regular basis in the environment we have clearly chosen to create for ourselves as a species. Hope.
Have a day. <3
